Flipping Tables

I love to watch a good fight, and my husband knows this. When he is watching sports on TV he quickly informs me when a fight breaks loose. I realize this sounds barbaric, but as humans we are drawn to the drama, we are drawn to the unbridled emotion—especially if we aren’t someone who tends to release our anger in this way. You might, instead, get quietly drawn into an argument on social media, carefully scrolling as to not accidentally “like” something and give yourself away.  

Two stories have always stood out to me in the Bible: when the Lord causes Korah and gang to get swallowed up by the earth (Numbers 26:10) and when Jesus flips the tables of the money changers in the temple (Matthew 21:12). I imagine I would be watching these events with eyes wide and jaw gaping. Why? Because often our experience with anger and its response is negative. Our culture tends to see anger as bad, something that needs to be suppressed, that is evil, an “emotion” to be locked away.

Tim Keller says this of anger, “There’s nothing wrong with being ticked—getting angry to a degree—if somebody slights your reputation, but why are you ten times—a hundred times—more angry about it than some horrible violent injustice being done to people in another part of the world?

Do you know why? Because . . . if what you’re really looking to for your significance and security is people’s approval or a good reputation or status or something like that, then when anything gets between you and the thing you have to have, you become implacably angry. You have to have it. You’re over the top. You can’t shrug it off.”

Have you ever stopped to think about what tends to push your buttons most? The instances that make you fly off the handle or stew in frustration for days on end? The situations that make you groan out loud or worse? These situations are uncomfortable for me to think about—my natural self is not one of patience and gentleness. And when I boil it down, the motivator for my reactions is just...me. Unyielded to the Spirit, though, I know I’m not alone. Your motivator just might be your kids, job, status/reputation, health, body image, or comfort.

Pastor Jonathon Parnell says, “Anger is love in motion to deal with a threat to someone or something we truly care about.” We see this to be true in the examples we have of God in both the Old Testament and New Testament. In both instances, the anger and subsequent actions responded to sin. Korah’s rebellion and punishment weren’t because Moses’ feelings were hurt; this group acted in contempt to the Lord. Jesus wasn’t lashing out at the idea of business; he was angered that a place meant for the worship of his Father had been stained by greed while the people whom he loved were being taken advantage of. 

These displays of anger are righteous because of their goal—remove sin and ultimately honor God. If we only see anger as evil, not as a display of love, then our view of God will be distorted. Anger isn’t a characteristic of God—he says of himself in Exodus 34:6 that he is “compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.” The slow to anger piece doesn’t simply describe who God is; it also describes how he reacts. He is compassionate and gracious, loving and faithful to his beloved people. “Slow to anger” is also translated as “patient, forbearing, and longsuffering” (Illustrated Bible Dictionary). And, as we see throughout the Bible, God has great patience for his people. He often suffers in grief for a long time before a righteous punishment is enacted. The anger stems from God’s love and compassion toward people and loathing of the sin that continues to entrap them. 

Can we say that about our reactions to anger? 

The Opposite of Love

Friend, let’s be clear: the opposite of love isn’t anger… the opposite of love is apathy. When we love someone so strongly, anything that opposes or harms her/him will (should) rightfully cause a response. Apathy and indifference do not elicit this response, let alone any response. How heart-wrenching to be cared about so little that one would not fight for your well-being in the face of danger… 

God’s love for us ultimately resulted in the sacrifice of his only son so that the biggest threat to our very lives—sin—would no longer have power over us. He allowed the torture and death of his flesh and blood for you and me. The sin in the world and in our lives grieved him. It grieves him. 

Paul prays in Ephesians 3:14-21:

“For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.”

Do we understand the depth of Christ’s love for us? Do we grasp the grace that has been bestowed upon us? Do we fully comprehend just how impossible it is to earn these gifts? Do we have a right view of God? A right view of ourselves? Because if we don’t, anger will indeed become unrighteous.

Anger itself is not sinful. But a spirit unyielding to the Lord, a heart unchanged by his grace and mercy, and mind untethered to his truth, is destructive—to ourselves, to our loved ones, to our witness. Sister, we cannot afford this. Alisha discussed this in recent Truth Be Told in 10 podcasts that only through Christ can our hearts and minds be renewed. Jeremiah 17:9 says our hearts are deceitful, but the Lord gives his people a new heart and a new spirit (Ezekiel 36:26). This renewed self, surrendered to and sanctified by the Spirit, produces what we cannot obtain by our own strength. 

What now?

I noticed three gospel applications when studying the Lord’s actions that stemmed from anger.

The first is proper motivation. As we discussed earlier, when we or our blessings become idols in our lives then we cannot display righteous emotions or actions. We must continually seek the face of Christ, submit every aspect of ourselves to his will, and pray for eyes of compassion toward all people. Without this, we will fly off the handle for selfish reasons or react in an ungodly way toward something that does not deserve our anger. 

This leads to the next gospel implication: proper response. God always acts justly toward sin. When sin and injustice needed to be dealt with, it was done so appropriately, carefully, and intentionally. When we find ourselves angry at the injustice in the world or sin destroying the health or relationships of one we love, how do we respond? I’m not claiming to know all the answers here, but I can confidently tell you that I need to stop and pray much more often than letting the “fire-breathing dragon” inside of me blindly take out whatever stands in my way. 

Turns out, when I feel as though I am of no help to a situation, I’m forgetting the truth Paul prayed that the Lord is, “able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think,” (Ephesians 3:20). Praying for the Spirit’s self-control to reign in our anger rather than immediately reacting can do wonders. And simply utilizing our partnership with the Lord and even the groanings of the Spirit when we have absolutely no words for the horror sin has left in its wake, will result in much greater fruit than I could ever produce on my own.

The third application involves a proper timeline. The Lord holds no grudges. He doesn’t angrily give the silent treatment. He doesn’t sit in bitterness for days, weeks, or years. Yes, he is patient and “longsuffering” but when a situation elicits anger, and action becomes necessary, it is enacted and that’s it. There is no grudge. Shame and guilt aren’t baseballs being tossed up and down, waiting for the right time to throw that fastball straight down home plate. Remember, God’s love and compassion toward people is our foundation here. And in our own personal lives, this patience and love should lead us to repentance, not an abuse of grace. 

Next Steps

Let’s be honest, being mindful of our anger is going to take a lot of grace, especially if you’re more bent toward truth and justice like me. But how can we move forward with our head, heart, and hands? 

Head:

Focus on a couple of scriptures with me this week. You can write them down on a notecard, place a sticky note on your mirror, or make it a point to pray them during the times of your day you tend to be a little more on edge. The first is Exodus 34:6 where the Lord describes himself as “merciful, gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness.” The second is Galatians 5:22-23 where we learn the fruit of the spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Can you join me in praying for the Lord to empty us of ourselves and fill us with more of his Spirit? It is only through his power and grace that our hearts can truly be transformed to mirror his.

Heart:

Here I want us to notice what voices are speaking into our lives—which ones are causing us to be a little more irritable, which are stumbling blocks for sin in our anger, and where we can “trim the fat.” Proverbs 4:23 says, “Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life” (NASB). With diligence, it says we need to be mindful of what we are allowing to steer our ship. This may be a difficult task, but even just for a week if we can ensure that we are consuming the Lord’s voice through his truth, I’m confident you’ll notice a big difference.

Hands:

Is there anyone you need to apologize to or reach out to in grace? Did you squirm or roll your eyes at me? I get it...this one is uncomfortable. However, often seeds of bitterness give anger the roots to grow wildly into sin. And what’s the best antidote? Humility, repentance, truth, grace, and love. 

Remember, friend, “we love because he first loved us” (1 John 4:19).